Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 2
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Can You See Me
Can You See Me?
Working out, eating right, and losing weight were things on my mind 3˝ years ago but only as a fantasy, not a reality. I remember that I had a membership to a national health club chain for 15 years but every time I had enough courage to go in, it seemed like I was invisible. The only people they were interested in were the “beautiful people,” or so I thought. I was the one who needed help but was the last one to receive service. I would have even hired a trainer and bought all the supplements and diet plans. I just needed someone to “see” me and help me. But for whatever reason, I remained invisible to the ones who could help.
Because of this I gave up and decided that I would never lose weight. I would just be fat and unhealthy for the rest of my life. I gave up all hope. I even built my personality around this. I was the one who ate everything in sight and made a joke about it. I became like a sideshow at the local restaurants. People would watch in amazement while I ate a whole pizza with ease or a pan of cheesecake on a dare. Looking back now I probably consumed 10,000 to 15,000 calories a day. But as long as I was in control of the humor, it was OK. I could hide behind the humor and be invisible. Nobody saw my pain.
December 21, 1999, was the day God changed everything. I was let go at my work. I went to my pastor and asked him to help me pray for direction. After we prayed he asked me what I was doing tomorrow. “Haven’t you been listening to me?” I wondered. Thankfully I didn’t verbalize that thought. “Nothing,” I answered cautiously. He invited me to join him at Sozo Fitness. I asked him, “Sozo Fitness? What is that?” “A health club,” he responded. I was immediately offended. Isn’t it funny that when someone catches us hiding behind insecurity or when we are “found out,” our first response is to protect our insecurity. Where is the security in that? I remained silent but agreed to meet him. He was my pastor so I felt I had to respect him and show up. That night I hardly slept. I was restless. The thought of going into another health club and seeing all these “beautiful people” reject me nearly gave me an anxiety attack. I always felt worse leaving the health club than when I first walked in. I couldn’t handle another failure.
The next day finally arrived, and I went to Sozo Fitness as promised at 8:30 a.m. When I arrived, the pastor was waiting there by the front counter with three other people. I was greeted warmly, and the owner immediately took charge. “What do you want to accomplish?” he asked. I looked at him kind of hesitantly, not knowing what to say. It was obvious what I needed. I finally said, “Lose weight” as I pointed to my 56” waistline. He asked about my eating habits. I said I usually eat one or two big meals per day. He then explained to me that Sumo wrestlers eat exactly that way. When we eat so seldom and in large quantities, our body thinks it is only going to get fed once in a while, so it stores everything as fat. That is why eating five to six small meals is so important. It keeps the furnace burning. I wanted to get mad, but there was something different about this encounter. He actually cared and gave me honest information about health. He explained how all the products on the market are based on hype and not reality. He said, “It’s going to take you a couple of years to get into shape. Don’t kid yourself; it isn’t going to be easy, but I will walk with you every step of the way.” He trained me that day. And even though I only lasted five minutes, he talked with me for over an hour. I came back the next day, and the next. Someone bought me a membership, and the owner trained me at no cost. In no time at all I was on my way. Healthy ID was birthed that day.
As you keep going, never forget the pain of your past and always remember to reach out to someone who is hurting. In the beginning I didn’t want to let down the ones who helped me. But now I have the strength to give back to others what was given to me. Always see people in a compassionate way and use the strength, endurance, and health you are now getting to lift up those who are hurting. There are a lot of people who are quietly saying, “Can you see me?” How are you going to respond?
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